By Kat Hamilton
I keep a letter in my wallet that I wrote to myself in high school. It was part of a class assignment, which truthfully, I don’t remember that well. The prompt was, “Where will you be in five years?” Based on my frequent re-readings, I have deduced that I was probably 17 when I wrote it. It’s incredible to read where I thought I would be in relation to where I am now. I was spot on regarding so many things. I haven’t won a Grammy yet, but I think that chapter of my life is a bit far off.
Why write about my letter now? Well I’m about a month away from my 24th birthday and the letter kind of stops at 25. I guess my younger self didn’t really think much past that. That seemed really old back then. In the years between 17 and 22, I feel like everything feels monumental. At least that has been my experience. This is my letter. Unedited.
For the next 5 years I want to continue to pursue my music career. My ideal age to achieve my goal as a famous singer would be, like, 25. I want to go to Berklee College of Music for at least two years while finding my musical niche. I want to get a fanbase and play clubs until I get a record deal by maybe 23. I don’t plan on pursuing any serious romantic relationships over the next five years. I would much rather concentrate on being a musician and hopefully winning a Grammy one day. While I go to college, I will live in Boston, but if the music scene isn’t filled with enough opportunity, I will probably move to New York. I will probably become a songwriter for a label before I get my big break, just to fund my ventures. If fame comes sooner than 25, I would like to be a spokesperson for gay rights activism so that I can use my stardom to help make the world a better and safer place for the LGBT community.
(INSERT CREEPY DRAWING)
Obviously, this letter has some lofty goals, and some very shallow motivations. As much as I like to pretend I was so much more interesting than other high schoolers, the only difference between myself and my classmates was that I had a big dream. I still do. I don’t think I’ll be a famous singer by 25 so I think I will write a new letter. One that can time capsule who I am right now and what I see for my future. I feel really lucky that I have even touched the goals of my high school daydreams. Now it feels like as good a time as any to have some new ones.
Where will I be in 5 years?
For the next five years I want to continue to pursue my music career. My ideal age to achieve my goal of being a touring rock musician who pays their rent with music is 28. I want to tour the world with my amazing bandmates. Sleep in crowded vans with them. Go skinny-dipping in motel pools with them and know these amazing people for the rest of my life. I intend on falling in love many more times in the next five years. Being in love opened my eyes and taught me true compassion. I can’t wait to see who I become after the next love. Sometime within the next five years I want to live in Philadelphia. I want to have a rehearsal space in my house. I hope I still have the greatest friends in the world in five years. Because the friends I have now are the greatest. I hope I still work for Punk Out because creating safer spaces for LGBTQ+ youth gives me hope. By 25 I want to get a tv spot for one of my songs. By 26, I want to write a jingle, go on a east coast solo tour, take Manic Pixi to California, be the voice of a cartoon, take my dad to new Orleans, and perform on Warped Tour. Someday I want to buy a loft in Seattle, get two dogs, buy a jeep and name it Winona Ryder, learn French and perform on a stadium tour. Oh yeah, and a Grammy would be nice.
With endless love,
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