Whenever I tell someone that I hate Valentine’s Day, the first thing they ask me is if I’m single. It’s never, “well, why do you hate it?” It’s always, “are you single?” When I go on to explain that I haven’t been alone on Valentine’s Day in at least five years, people are always stunned, unable to grasp why I could hate a day filled with affection when I have someone to love.
The answer, can be simplified to the obvious: it’s a Hallmark holiday created to force consumerism despite the fact that we are in a recession. However, it’s so much more than that. Sure, it sucks that Hallmark's industry takes advantage of our bleeding or over bursting hearts by jamming chocolate, roses, teddy bears, and sex down our throats, but what sucks even more is that it forces us to view love as something to be displayed singularly.
I may sound like a total jerk for saying this, but honestly, I don’t care, and I believe it needs to be said: if you love me, buy me chocolate because I fucking love chocolate. Don’t buy it for me because some little asshole in a diaper with an arrow says today is the day you have to do it or else you’re failing as a significant other. Take me out to dinner because I deserve it. Buy me flowers because they’re pretty. Shower me in unnecessary material gifts because I’m worth your money, not because it’s Valentine’s Day and you feel obligated.
This same concept also applies to the flip side of Valentine’s Day. If you’re a member of the lonely hearts club this year, don’t be overly sad just because you’re alone on the “holiday.” Instead, be sad about this on any other day of the year. Hurt because you desire to feel loved, hurt because you are empty. Or don’t hurt at all because there is so much more to this world than to love or to be loved. Don’t let bars or any other shitty establishments profit off your sadness and your desire to bring home another desperate single for a quick fuck.
With that, I will end on this note: value your single self, value your relationships, value your significant other. Do that each and every day, but most importantly, do it because it feels right. The reason I don’t love Valentine’s Day is not because I don’t love affection, in fact, it is just the opposite. You could even say I’m like a cat - I want you to love me, but I want you to do it on my terms. If you can’t, then I will write you off as easily as I write off the dozen red roses you leave on my doorstep.